Do you know what it’s like to have absolutely NO faith in the goodness, grace, & compassion of a higher power?
I sincerely hope you have no idea what I’m talking about, I really do, for your sake & the sake of your loved ones.
Everyone suffers through difficult times. It’s all a part of being human and of living on this planet. It’s part and parcel of the lives of every single person & no one is exempt. Some suffer a great deal more than others. A select few appear to others to live “charmed” lives. Seemingly for them nothing ever seems to go wrong & they always seem to get what they want.
I’ve been accused of living a charmed life many, many times since I was a small child. Yes, it’s true. For me things just seem to always click neatly into place. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I have also lived through tremendous difficulties. I’m a Mexican-American and a woman so in college and 2 graduate schools I had to deal with a great deal of discrimination that I didn’t even realize truly began for me in kindergarten. It’s just that back when I was so young I did not see it for what it was, but 20/20 hindsight always brings things into a clear focus and perspective, even 45 years later.
While growing up my friends would always say, “Wow, look at you! You have great parents, a decent house (not the best as we didn’t have much money, but it was livable), you’re artistic, smart, and nice. You have it all.”
I won’t lie. I was blessed with WONDERFUL parents (both passed on: Mom in January, 2008 & Dad followed in September, 2009). I’ve also been of higher than average intelligence so my education, for the most part until Statistics in college, came very easy to me. Just don’t ever mention Statistics to me!! In school to the other kids it seemed I was forever acing the tests and wow, did they hate me when the teachers graded on the bell curve! I always brought that curve right up to at least the 98 percentile. However, what they didn’t know was this.
My dad had no formal education beyond the sixth grade of elementary school. He gave me a love of learning & he made me study every single day right after school. Once my studying was done I could play or do whatever I wanted.
My dad emigrated from Mexico to California, and from there to my hometown, Waukegan, Illinois in 1955. He could barely read and write Spanish, and he knew no English. He was a hard laborer his entire life because he was not equipped to be anything else. He wore his body out working. He developed carpel tunnel syndrome in both wrists and in the early 80s suffered through a series of 4 operations. He ruined his lower back and in his late 60s underwent lumbar fusion surgery, then later on total lumbar replacement by having nuts, bolts, & pins inserted into his back. He was told that after that surgery he would either walk or he wouldn’t. My dad was no quitter. The day after surgery he insisted on getting up even though they said no, but he did, & with my help he walked. Told he’d stay 20 – 25 days in the hospital undergoing rehab he was home in only 8 days. His doctors were astounded. Dad’s reply: “God has healed me because my family needs me.” Faith. That’s all it took.
My dad was a man of great faith, but he also underwent terrible things in his life. He was the fourth of 7 children born to a grocer and his wife. His father opened a chain of grocery stores once he began to do better and my dad’s mom was able to hire a nanny so she wasn’t responsible for raising her own children. My dad looked to his nanny and oldest sister as his “mothers,” although he always carried great love for his biological mother, who was a very sweet & kind woman.
At the age of 12 my dad struck a teacher, thus causing him to be expelled from school. My grandfather spoiled my dad & said he didn’t have to go back to school. That one decision harmed my dad repeatedly the rest of his life, but my dad never allowed it to get him down. He would tell me, “God just meant for this to happen, and the reason is to show you how important it is to have a higher education.”
Dad began stressing that fact to me when I was only five years old. He began talking to me about going to college. My dad wasn’t even too sure what college was. He only knew that people who ended up going there ended up doing pretty well in life from all he had heard. He wanted only the best for me. So college was talked up big in my house and he would always tell me, “you’re so smart. All this will come very easily to you, you’ll see.” And it did. But why? Because my dad TOLD me it would & because I had unshakable faith in my father. What Dad said always came to pass. If he told me at the age of 5 when I began school that I was smart & it would all come easily to me, well, by golly, that’s just what was going to occur – and it did. Why? Because I had faith in my father & he was a man who could always be taken at his word.
My dad went through a period of being homeless as a teenager. He witnessed two murders in that period. Yet he would tell me, “God meant for this to happen so it would all lead to what we have now.” He firmly believed that. He saw all of his bad experiences as a series of lessons to help him to become the person he was meant to be when it came time for him to be my father.
My father taught me many things for a man of very little education. He taught me to be honest. He taught me to be kind. He taught me to have compassion for all others because but for the Grace of God go I. He taught me to respect my elders. He taught me to respect authority in all forms. He taught me to love animals & that animals needed our love & protection. He taught me to play baseball & implanted in my heart a great love for the game. He taught me the value of a good education. However, despite all of these wonderful things he taught me, the greatest lesson I ever learned from him was the power of faith.
My dad was a very spiritual man, not religious. He did not regularly attend church. He was raised Catholic & had an undying devotion to the Virgin Mary, Whom he prayed to for everything. I did not inherit that same devotion, which was a pity considering that after 39 years of chronic knee pain, who ended up healing me when I finally got around to asking her? The Virgin Mary!
My dad had tremendous, unshakeable faith in God, Jesus Christ, the Virgin Mary, & angels. He also firmly believed there were “good spirits” around us all the time who would help us in small ways. For example, you can’t find a good parking space & suddenly you see someone pulling out. Well, Dad would say one of your good spirits caused that to happen. You find a twenty dollar bill on the ground. Again, a good spirit brought that to you, and no doubt in exchange for some small kindness you performed for someone without expecting anything in return. Dad used to always tell me you get paid back for every good thing you ever do, but you also get paid back for every bad thing you do and it all happens BEFORE you leave this life, not after in some heaven or in some hell or in some future life, but NOW. He firmly believed that & so he lived his life accordingly. As a result, my father was greatly loved by everyone who knew him.
My dad’s greatest gift to me was his faith, which he passed down to me. I’ve lived a good life & I cannot help but FIRMLY believe the reason behind that fact is because I have great faith. I stopped attending church at the age of 14. Raised Catholic as my parents before me I was brought up on angel stories, the greatness of the Virgin Mary, and so on. I believed in Them, however, I did not believe in the Catholic Church. I didn’t appreciate how they ran things and how they would instill this fear of hell into their congregations, a place in which I did not believe because if you believe in a loving God how can there be a hell? No loving God would ever send any of His children to such a horrible place, no matter what wrongs they committed in life. Therefore, hell never made any sense to me so neither did the Church.
Dad would tell me, “Pray and it will work out one way or another.” That was his answer to all my problems, plus he would also do whatever he could to help, even to the point of holding a pair of pinking shears to the neck of my 7th grade sewing teacher who had spent the last few weeks constantly yelling at me & making me fear school. He then yelled at her she “wasn’t fit to teach pigs.” That was back in the day & the principle commended him although his action was technically illegal, but here was a father coming to the rescue of his little girl. There’s very few things stronger than that force.
I always pray. I wake up with a prayer that the day be good & hold only blessings for myself & all those whom I love. As I read my client’s emails about their problems & asking which of my services will help them, I pray for them. I pray that they are given the guidance, protection, help, & love that they need in order to see them through this difficulty. As I read the emails of my friends who complain about what’s going on in their lives I also pray for them that it all works out & they receive the help & guidance that they need in particular situations. As I read the posts on Facebook to my various groups I also pray for all of those people as well as for those who post their difficulties that make it onto my daily feed.
I am almost in a constant state of prayer daily. When I am not praying I am envisioning a better future for myself, my family, my city, my state, my country, & the world. A better future of abundance for everyone, where Love reigns supreme and there is no more war, famine, or pestilence. I envision a perfect world & my faith allows me to hold this vision daily for various periods of time each day.
Now I know there are MANY people who have lived very awful lives. There are people who have been badly abused by their parents so they grew up in an abusive & unloving home. There are those who have married abusive people & went through their own horror stories. There are many with serious, complicated, and often life-threatening illnesses and/or disabilities who must live with that condition everyday of their lives & who may even wish for death on a daily basis. I know there are a great many sad & miserable people in the world.
I come across many such people in my line of work. Often, I am a person’s last recourse because their problem has not been adequately handled by any other means. I always bear this in mind when a stranger writes to me telling me their problems & asking if I have anything that may help them in some way. I answer all emails compassionately & promptly, often within 24 hours. I intuitively sense when someone can afford to pay me & when they cannot. When they cannot I do what I can to help them for free by sharing information with them on how to perhaps perform candle work for themselves, pray to certain angels who have particular specialties tied to their problems, or I tell them how to cleanse the negative energy out of their home or from a person. I give free knowledge away all the time & help in any way I can. I believe in empowering others. I never wish for anyone to become dependent upon me in any way. It is demeaning to them to forsake their own personal power. I never wish to demean anyone.
People tell me, “Nefer, your faith holds me up. It’s so strong that it’s strong enough for the both of us.” I get this all the time in emails. Many now look to me as an example & I strive to set the best example I possibly can, but then I’ve always done that my entire life because that’s just the type of person I am due to the influence of my father.
However, there always comes a time, periodically in my life, when someone out there who has lived a very sad and miserable existence due to being abused, horrible relationships, physical disabilities, & a myriad of other problems who comes along & attacks my faith. I pray for them, I light candles for free for them because I know they can’t afford to pay me, yet I also know they truly need the help. I never feel inconvenienced. I am here to be of service & when someone is truly in need & I intuitively see that, I never withhold my help via prayer, focused thought, & sending energy either through candle work or Reiki.
Despite all that, these people tell me that there is no way a benevolent God, universe, spirit guides, ascended masters, or anyone or anything else even gives a rat’s ass about us lowly miserable humans. They tell me that their life has sucked so horribly bad that they know whenever whatever small good things do manage to occur that it’s due to their own doing. They do not believe in crediting something outside of themselves for some good that has somehow entered their lives. No God, angel, spirit guide, ascended master, or any other type of possible higher power is responsible for this tiny blessing that has managed to somehow manifest.
They tell me that to think such lofty beings give a crap is silly & superstitious. These beings have much better things to do than to be concerned with the likes of us lowly humans. And on and on and on it goes despite the small steps they’ve made going in a forward direction. To top it off, then they will even complain about those blessings! I had one guy tell me who had been jobless for NINE months, I did free candle work to help him land a job, he gets the job, then has the nerve to complain to me about his boss, his co-workers, & that he hates the job! Well, many do hate their jobs, that’s a sad fact, but face it – he was making an INCOME while before that he was living in his mother’s basement. So a huge improvement occurred in his life, but he could only focus on the negative.
People who focus solely on the negative, well, that’s what they’re going to get out of life – more negativity. When they fail to see that the small blessings coming to them are truly the result of prayer, directed & focused thought, candle work, & healing – and not just by me, but by EVERYONE who had been keeping these people in their thoughts & prayers – it’s a very sad state of affairs, indeed. Those without faith are incapable of seeing that these small good things that manage to creep into their lives ARE a result of A HIGHER POWER.
I have been made to feel incredibly sad this morning by someone whom I see as a truly good friend, but who is in such a miserable state in her life that she cannot see recent events for what they are: true little miracles occurring as the result of the faith & prayers of others who care about her & her situation. She sent me a really awful email this morning that reduced me to a heap of tears on my bedroom floor. She wasn’t cruel in it. She didn’t insult me, but she did tell me various things I have hit upon throughout this blog post, things that have deeply hurt me, perhaps even permanently scarred me in some spiritual manner.
I am, & always have been, a person of tremendous faith. I use my faith & spiritual abilities to help others. That is my Soul Purpose in this particular incarnation. Despite the dark ones attempting to get to me by using such people to upset & tear down my faith, I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN!
The worst thing you can do is allow someone else to convince you that there is no goodness, that the universe doesn’t care, that it’s all just random fluff & we’re all here at the mercy of our own actions & there is no one anywhere who can or is willing to help. I can tell you for a FACT in my line of work I have seen the Hand of God at work in the form of Angels, Spirit Guides, Ascended Masters, heck, even the Parking Lot Angel has helped me MANY, MANY times. I know these beings exist & I also know they give a crap. They give a crap about you, me, your family, your dog, your cat, your job, your relationship, & every single miniscule aspect of your life.
Believe that & be strong in your faith. Remember, when someone comes along saying stuff like this, that there is no God, no benevolent caring beings anywhere in the universe & that it’s every dog for himself, that’s just the dark side attempting through the words of a friend or loved one to undermine your faith. People of great faith see this the most because it’s such people who inspire others & hold them up during difficult times.
Just consider for a moment what a dark & miserable place the world would be if every person of great faith whose faith was undermined in this manner gave in & began to truly believe, “yeah, you’re right. Even if God exists, He doesn’t give a crap about us & your life proves that.” Just think of all the great human beings of great faith who have ever lived. Don’t think for ONE SECOND their faith wasn’t attacked innumerable times, because it was. Yet, they carried on, and why? Because they were people of great faith, and even more importantly they knew that others depended upon them to serve as examples.
I like to think in some small ways I serve as an example to others. I shall always strive to set the best example I can professionally as well as personally. And know this – I will never allow another person to shake me of my faith. I have seen & experienced far too much over the years to not have faith in a Higher Power. A good friend told me today, “we are what we believe.” She is so right.
Remember, Faith IS Power. Faith gives you power over the dark. Faith is your Light in dark & troubled times. Most of all, Faith is your Friend.